The Bomber: Readers Beware
My family calls me The Bomber, not because Im into explosives, but because I have the first pair of Bausch and Lomb aviator sunglasses ever made, making me look like an air force bombardier pilot. I also love bombing around town in my pickup truck.
They also call me bomber because I can be a curmudgeonly old coot at times, at which point, it is probably a good idea to stay out of my way. One of those times is when I hear marketing hoopla that makes me want to grab someone by the throat and watch them turn blue.
Readers beware. Words can lure us into a delusional sense of reality. It is called false advertising. Words can glamorize, sensationalize, and mesmerize. Changing the name or intent of something is one of those luring techniques used as an advertising strategy that is right up there in the b. s. category and I dont mean Bachelor of Science.
Business answering machine messages are tops on my b. s. list. They are part of a business overall image, making it important to mean what you say on your message. How about the message that states, Your call is important to us. There are times when it seems as though Im on hold for twenty years, especially when Im trying to get an answer from my HMO (make that thirty years). By the time they get back to me, its time to make funeral arrangements.
I remember when the words house trailer were replaced with mobile home. Now theyre called manufactured homes. Mobile home sounds better to me, giving me a sense of freedom. The words mobile home make me want to get-up-and-go, appealing to my spirit of adventure. Manufactured home, on the other hand, sounds like it was thrown together yesterday with spit and toothpaste. I get the feeling that the down draft from a sixteen-wheeler would blow it into another County.
I live in a cozy, two-bedroom townhouse (meaning small), with an honest message on my answering machine that says, leave a number, Im writing and dont want to be bothered; which is probably why I only have two friends, one of which is my cat, and a loving family who affectionately refers to me as, The Bomber.
Copyright 2005 by Pamela Beers. All rights reserved.
Pamela Beers is a freelance writer, educator, and horse trainer who enjoys poking fun at the establishment. You may visit her website at http://www.pamelabeers.com
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