The Canadian Tire Guy Must be Stopped!
There is a cruel and heavy cross that all Canadians have had unfairly thrust upon their shoulders. No Im not talking about Canadas federal politicians. Paul Martin and Stephen Harper are more akin to albatross slung around the nations neck (fodder for another day). No dear reader, I am referring to the national scourge of the North the Canadian Tire Guy.
For any of our American readers who may not be up to speed on this scoundrel, the Canadian Tire Guy is a nosy neighbor/spokesperson for a Canadian hardware chain that always shows up in your yard (uninvited) and proceeds to lecture you that:
A. Your tools are utter shite, and \r B. You are verging on being an imbecile because you are so incompetent
Sounds like a great neighbor, eh?
Next thing you know, he, his wife and that chubby kid of theirs are going to pop up uninvited in my bedroom to tell me that I am pleasuring my wife incorrectly and then he will do a plug for the Canadian Tire long life, battery operated dildo with the adjustable twin heads
This man needs to be stopped!
If he shows up in your yard, could you please do us all a favor and push the pompous bastard headfirst into the Canadian Tire brand wood chipper that he is hawking?
Thanks a bunch.
The Undead Survival Guide
Check out other articles Ive written at: http://www.writingup.com/blog/undead_survival_guide
The Undead Survival Guide Bio:
Thanks for checking out my bio. If you want to find other bizarre tangential thoughts that I have written down I also blog regularly issues ranging from how to best upset your father at festive family gatherings to repelling assaults from walking flesh eating undead inhabiting your breakfast nook.
My blog can be found at http://www.writingup.com/blog/undead_survival_guide
Thanks again for checking me out!
Best wishes
The Undead Survival Guide
Comedians Can Now Access New Online Website Which Helps Showcase Comic Talents
Toronto, ON February 4, 2007 Canada is a land of funny people. Whether it is the experience of bitter cold winters and sho...
Geese Enablers
I was driving down a major avenue in my town the other day when I had to slam on the brakes to avoid running over a couple of...
Best Ebook Creation - 3 Ways to Make a Hit Ebook
Making ideas known to the rest of the world is greatly easier now compared to the past. One simply needs to find the ways by ...
Napping: An Olympic Sport
Everyone is into physical fitness these days. Why? Are they planning on going to the Olympics? If not, why bother getting phy...
Keeping New Year Resolutions - Step Seven - Overcome Obstacles
You are on the road toward reaching your goal and making strides in your journey to keeping your New Years resolution. Then, ...
Mundane Uses For Super Powers
If the world ever gets its mits on someone with real super powers, the results are likely to be a lot less spectacular than p...
Restaurant Food in NYC Tastes Horrible; No Transfat New Law
Of all the silly laws in the World New York City is now about to reach the epitome of political correctness and liberalism. T...
Speed Secret
A high school coach was looking forward to track season. As he assembled his class of young men to compete for the 100 yard ...
Free Doughnuts
One night after spending hours in our local club and consuming large amounts of alcohol me and a few of my friends were on th...
Jesus Was an Illegal Alien Too
Many people may not realize this, but did you know that Jesus was an illegal alien too? Think of it. He really was wasnt he? ...
Divorce
DivorceI started thinking about divorce and its consequences when I began a brief autobiography.My marriage was far from per...
Life as A Spanish Fly
That is Spanish Fly as in ‘fly on the wall’, not Spanish Fly as in ‘aphrodisiac.’ The casual approach...
Becoming Recession Proof
A lot of business owners Ive spoken with lately have commented how their business is slow because of "the recession." If you ...
Too Many Laws for No Reason
Our civilization has seen more new laws and legislation in the last five years than at any other time in human history. Had t...
Tips To Reduce The Cost Of Multi-Age Home Schooling
Multi-Age Home Schooling can be a much more expensive choice for the family than Public Schooling, as there are a lot of expe...
MMMM - Chocolate Truffles - A Chocolate Lovers Dream
The term chocolate truffles evoke a visual image of pure decadence. You can almost imagine the commercial with a woman slowl...
Business Management Decisions; Environmental Controls for a Mobile Oil Change Business
When considering the executive management decision to launch a mobile oil change business whether it is a small business or a...
A Couple of My Favorite Chocolate Concoctions
This first one was not my invention; I picked it up while working on a fish boat during Herring season a few years ago. The c...
Wonderful Neck Tie Jokes
Here are some interesting tie jokes that shall make you laugh definitely. 1. A man gets a new neck tie for his birthday but...
The ESSENTIAL Secrets to How To Divorce in Nevada
Divorce is a stressful time for everyone, whether it is taking place in Nevada, Florida or Timbuktu. But some knowledge of ...